Nice & Slow

I was so proud of myself yesterday, giving myself and injection, pat myself on my back. My Dad & Chris are ruthless. They were giving me so much Hell!! When I did the injection, I took my time and went nice & slow. I figured if I did that, I would make sure that it got in and I was done. Well, according to the Men in my life, I should have done it fast and gotten it over with. So today, I did. I did it fast to get it over with. Didn't work that way. I went fast and just as the needle went in, it bounced right back out. Ugh. The Men were wrong, but don't tell them that. So, I got to stick myself twice today. So what did I learn. Do it my own way. Nice & slow. It's sting for a split second and then it's over. Men. Can't live with them and I certainly can't live without them. I sure do love the Men in my life. From my husband, father(s) to all my brother in laws. I know if I needed anything, they would be there ASAP. Thanks to the Men. But don't listen to them when it comes to a needle!

Poke Me

Alright - The needle not so bad, stung a little and left a little bump like a mosquito bite, but so far so good. I haven't noticed any side effects and hopefully I don't. I am keeping my fingers crossed!! Here are some pics Chris took this morning why I took my first injection - please don't pay attention to the no makeup and greasy hair.

I got my own biohazard container!! I feel so special!

Getting ready - deep breaths. Like I said, don't look at the greasy hair and no makeup! I look so upset, but really it was 7:15 am on a Sunday, so not awake yet!10 ml - not badI am so glad I kept my extra "tire goo", it came in handy!Here is a copy of my meds calendar. I know you can't really read it, but I thought I would share any way. This is what they show us first at our appointment the other day, overwhelming.

I was able to poke myself - but eventually Chris is going to have to try it. The last round of shots has to be put in my "love handles" and I can't pinch and poke back there on my own!

Swipe & Stick

Thursday was a big day!! We made our first big payment!! I will be honest and tell everyone, no shame, $9710.00!!! That was an awesome swipe! Thank you Mastercard & Visa! If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be able to do this! Moving on.........

Thursday we attended a class on how to give/take the medications. All of them, injections. I am not afraid of needles, they don't phase me at all. But you want me to do what?? Can you tell me that again? I am not only sticking myself with one needle, but up to 3 at a time! Ouch. Chris & I were both a little overwhelmed. We have to fill the syringe up and stick me with it. The first round of shots will last 2 1/2 weeks, the second round will overlap the first round and will last for 2 to 3 weeks, and the third round will overlap the second for a couple days. All three of those don't seem to bad. The needles are pretty small and the quantity of medication isn't to bad. Maybe a 5 minute block a morning to deal with. These injections will last until they harvest the eggs, which will happen Feb 8-14th. After that I will be on another injection for 8-12 weeks and that is the scary needle. And I can't give it to myself. It has to be put in my back. Are you overwhelmed yet? I am still. These shots start on Sunday 17th. I am a little nervous, but I am sure after a couple days I will fly thru them without even blinking.

For all you medical friends - the first shot I am on is Lupron, second one is FSH, third is HCG and the final one is progestorone. I was so lost at first, but I know what they are.

The Big Man Upstairs

I have always had God in my life, always. Even when I haven't understood everything or when I have been very very mad. I don't know why he does what he does, I know I learn alot from it, but still don't understand alot, I have basically given up trying to understand him, hehe!! But I believe in him with my whole being. This brings me to my following comments.

When Chris & I were told that not only did I have a fertility problem, but so did he, our hearts broke. I got mad, very mad. I wanted God to answer my one question. Why us? Why a couple who are good people and would make great parents have problems procreating? Yet the drug addicts and unfit adults can have children and pop them out one after another? There are many ways to answer this question, but I wanted God's answer right then. Of course I got a different answer. And I am very grateful for that answer. God made man in his own image. We have the technology to "trick" mother nature into having Children and for that I am grateful. Forever grateful. I still don't understand the "Why" and I never will.

Today I found out a dear friend of mine is having fertility problems also, my heart goes out to her and her family. I know that she is going to succeed at this! She succeeds at everything and I look up to her for that!! Always with a SMILE! (You now who you are!) No one should have to go thru it, but if you do, remember that you are not alone. You have many days you fill that way, but your not. I have felt like a failure for so long. What did I do wrong to have a fertility problem? Did I drink to much Coke? Was I on birth control to long? Who knows? But going thru the fertility struggle flat out sucks.

Ok - getting off my soap box. On a brighter note, got my fertility meds today! YIPPEE!! We start on Sunday! Tomorrow is our class on how we take the meds. Have I mentioned at all that they are injections! Shots! In my skin! That I have to do! Ok - I will make Chris do it! Oh boy!

Morning or Night Sick??

So which is it? I started birth control on Day 3 of my cycle, and boy has it thrown my body into crazy things. The first week on it I was sick all morning long and now I am sick all night. I would rather be sick at night, I can go home and crawl into my bed and sleep it off. Either way - I better start getting used to it. The emotions have already started too!!! I am going to be a crier!! We went and saw "Avatar", which was fabulous, but I kept getting chocked up and my eyes would fill with tears. Oye!

This week is another slow week; not alot happening. We go to the Dr on Thursday to take our class on how to take the medications. I know a class?? Yes a class on how to insert the syringe and where. YEAH - NOT! This coming Sunday will be the first injection we take of fertility called Lupron (no fear, it was only $99.00!) I will have to make Chris take pics of where they are going to mark my body with a marker and how I will look like a heroin addict from the shots!! It is going to fun!

It is finally starting to hit us! We could be parents by November and we can't wait! Oh, my eyes are welling up again!! Thanks for the idea's on the books!! I love the idea of week by week!!

Almost a Week

So, its almost been a week since I started the Birth Control, can you say gag me. I forgot how sick it makes me and how senstive I can be about some things. Oh well, what do you do, move thru it.

One of my New Years Reslutions was giving up caffeine and carbinations, so pop & my yummy starbucks. I will tell you what - it's been so hard!! I haven't gone cold turkey, but I have cut back ALOT!! So far I have only had to coke's this week and I have been drinking alot of Crystal Light. That stuff pretty darn good.

We go to the Dr next Thursday to make our "here's my left arm" payment. It is going to be hard to spend the money, but exciting at the same time!! We get to have a baby!! Holy Cow! I have been shopping on the internet for some books to buy to help us prepare for pregnancy and having the baby. Let me know if you have any good ones you love. Any help or advice would be appreciated!!

Birth Control

Today I started an old addiction I haven't done for FIVE years! Birth Control! I have not missed you, do not want to take you, I honestly don't want anything to do with you! But I will in order to make a dream come true. The doc put me on birth control for three weeks. Studies show that when women are on birth control, they produce more eggs and ovulate better. If you say so; it's kinda ironic, because when I am done with the birth control, I will start taking a hormone that keeps me from ovulating. I am trusting these dr's and nurses, I am doing what they tell me too!

I will apologize now for my hormones and any yelling or crying I take out on you. It's only because I love you!

PS, Krissie, I have seen Dr Gercheff, love her! Dr Gibson did all of our prescreening and Dr Jones will do our egg retreival! Love you long time!