Fear

You would think that when Weston was born and going through all that he did that I would have been terrified of him not waking up or something horrible. Don't get me wrong, I was afraid, but in my mind, it couldn't get much worse than what we were and had gone through. Now that he is growing up and his heart is great, I am more afraid. The nights he sleeps through the night, I am terrified to go and check on him. I am so scared to find something I don't want to find. Does this fear ever go away or am I now a mom and will always be afraid for him? Or am I skeptical because I now know that anything could happen to anyone at any given time. Hopefully by talking (blogging) about my fear, I will be able to get it over it and keep telling myself that God loves me and won't give me anything that I can't handle, but please God, don't put me through something else with Weston. That was way to hard.