Heartache

My heart broke when Weston was born. I knew he was going to go thru a lot, but I didn't realize the emotions that I (and Chris) would feel during and especially after the fact. I thank God daily for the gift he has given us and also for the strength, but my heart breaks each and every time I hear about another family goin through similiar situations. I have a friend that had her baby early due to preclamsia and he is adorable. Seeing the pictures of him hooked up to wires and oxygen breaks my heart and I can't help but cry. I have another friend that has a baby with rsv and is on oxygen and a feeding tube; it hits close to home. And a dear friend with an adorable baby boy that fought hard and got home quick, Abby you are a strong woman!! But seeing and hearing this makes me cry in frustration and heartache. I know that God places us in situations that we can handle, but why does it have to include the sweet innocent babies!! I don't know why I feel responsible for Weston going through is trials, but I can't help it. Did I do something wrong? Did Weston chose this obstacle? Did I chose it for Weston? It is so hard to not know the answer. All I know is that no Mother or Father should have to go through what they go through when a baby is in the hospital and no baby deserves it. When it is my time and I get to meet God once again I know I will be able to ask him and get the answer, but until then, my heart breaks!! God bless the little babies that have to fight!! Be with them and keep them strong!

I'm Back!!

Hello!! I know it has been awhile, but here we go!! Baby season never seems to be done until it's done!! Weston is home and doing fabulous and reality has set in!! We have a baby!! An actual baby that we love, adore and even get frustrated with!! But also, I am starting to forget. I am starting to forget about the progesterone shots that hurt so bad and how uncomfortable pregnancy was in the beginning and end and how dreadful the hospital was. What happens when you forget?? I don't know about you, but I have started to talk about the next baby! I KNOW!!!! What am I thinking!! We know there is another one there, but what about the money and risks??

1. It's going to cost around $3000-$5000 to implant embryos and if it doesn't work, we will have to spend the same amount of money if not more.
2. The risk to have another cardio baby is slim, but still there.
3. How far apart is a good amount for our kids?
4. What if we have multiples? It is possible.
5. Money. HA! What's that!

With all the questions and concerns, we still want another one. We just need to determine when. Any thoughts!!

PS - It's good to be back!