Judgment

I try really, really hard to not judge someone's situation.  But tonight, I was faced with being in a judgment position.  I am working retail right now to earn some extra cash for our future home, so I work with a bunch of young adults.  There is a young woman there, that on the first night I met her, she told me that she was pregnant.  I was excited for her and told her Congrats! I really don't get upset when other people are prego; it's not their fault that we have to go what we got thru.  But tonight, she told another co-worker that she has decided to have an abortion.  My heart stopped instantly and my hands started to shake.  This was my moment of judgment.  I don't know her situation; I don't know if she has support at home like I do; I just don't know.  But I instantly became angry.  There are so many families and couples that would love this little baby that she is going to just disregard; we are one of those couples.  How can people make that choice and be ok with it? I didn't say anything to her tonight.  I wasn't in the right place, and it really is none of my business, but it brings up so many questions.  Why would God allow this to happen? Because he gave all the gift of Choice and Accountability.  It will be her judgment day, not mine.  But that doesn't mean it still hurts.  So please, for me, please be grateful for a few minutes with the positive things in your life.  If you can get pregnant at the drop of a dime or if you are like us and you pay and pray for a baby; be grateful for what you get to experience and look at the positive side.  I know I will hold Weston a little bit tighter tonight knowing that I paid a lot of money, had crazy hormones and fought for his life at Primary Children.  Thank you to God for listening to us and guiding us thru this crazy battle.

The Cycle

The cycle has begun and here goes nothing! Who knew that wanting your "flow" to start would mean you could be having a baby; it's normally the other way around.  I start birth control on Sunday; I know this sounds bizarre, but for some reason, when you start the process on birth control, it kick starts your ovaries into doing what they are supposed to do.  It is going to take about 2 months to get he end result.  The best part, they have the embryo transfer scheduled for the week of February 16th, that is the same week we got pregnant with Weston in 2010! Let's hope that week stays lucky for us and we get another baby.  Here is a quick synopsis of the meds and when they will start.


1. Start birth control pills on 12/21/14, and continue to take active birth control pills daily until 1/24/15.
2. Sonohysterogram, trial transfer and endometrial biopsy with Dr. Peterson between 1/19/15 - 1/23/15 (the last week of birth control pills)
3. Start Lupron injections on 1/18/15. Your dose of Lupron will be 10 units daily.
4. On 1/28/15, you will decrease Lupron to 5 units daily, and start taking Estrace 1 mg (1/2 pill) 2 times daily.
5. On 2/4/15, you will continue Lupron to 5 units daily, and increase taking Estrace to 2 mg (1 pill) 3 times daily.
6. Screening ultrasound (to measure the uterine lining) needs to be scheduled for 2/10/15.
7.  Your Embryo Transfer is scheduled to occur the week of 2/16/15 with Dr. Johnstone.
8. Progesterone in olive oil 100mg/ml. (I had a reaction to the last round of progesterone that is made with a different oil.  This time, we have to pay a bit extra for progesterone made with olive oil, but I will only have to take a small amount instead of a large amount.  This is the worst shot of all and I take it until week 10 of pregnancy.)

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  We are very excited, yet very anxious!

Baby #2 and/or #3???

Is baby #2 in the works? It sure is!   

Last September/October (2013) we did a cryo cycle of frozen embryos and we were unsuccessful.  It was very emotional and a very large eye opener, but we got thru it.  It made us stronger and ready to try again.

So here we are, trying again.

We have met with our doctors.  We are very excited.  The process is very similar, yet very different from the first and second rounds we have done.  The meds are basically the same, except throw in a lot of estrogen, and we are good to go.  We have 1 straw of 3 embryos left.  The doc is planning on transferring 2 of those 3 embryos, only if that many survive the thawing process. On our frozen round we did last year, on 2 of the 3 survived.

We are very excited and we ask for some extra prayers and some love.  This is essentially our last chance for babies.  And we are ok with that.  If we have another one or two we will be so happy! And if we have none, we will still be so happy.  God has blessed us with an amazing little boy that is full of fight and spunk.  We wouldn't have it any other way if that is what was meant for us.

Thanks for joining our journey with us, again! I will be documenting the process step by step and will be more than willing to answer any questions you may have.

Babies

So here we are. To the point where we need to make a decision. We have won our Polar Bear Expedition that we are taking in Oct, but now I need to find out if I can take the meds of the International Border of Canada!! If we can, the next decision we get to make is start the IVF process right before we leave and finsih up when we get back or do the IVF before we go and I go a couple months prego. I have leaning more towards NOT going prego because of all the "concerns". A foreign land (if you want to call Canada foreign), altitude change, flying, different schedules, etc. Decisions, decisions! Make's me want to be 16 again and only worry about what I was going to do on the weekend!!

Once again.....medical bills

I am so glad that we have insurance, but at the same time I want to rip my hair out. Weston got his tubes in his ears and it has been amazing, but come on insurance, you are going to hold us responsible for $1500.00 of it!! Why?? I have reached the point of tears. We got our first quarter of frozen embryo's, my sonohystogram for the next round of pregnancy, plus Weston's synergise shot - that added up together we are at about $6000.00 and we are only in March. Seriously, can we win the medical lottery??

Medical Bills

Does anyone else fill my pain with medical bills?? You pay one off, you jump up and down, you get all warm and fuzzy - then you go to the mail box and what do you get?? A new medical bill. Ugh. When does it end. Right when I see the light at the end of the tunnel, there is another one. One day.......right??

If not, can someone loan me about 10k to pay off my medical bills?? 90% of it is Weston. I'll make him work of his debt by mowing your lawn each summer, shoveling snow, cleaning you house, babysitting, you know, slave labor??

Delay on Baby #2

What happens when you receive great news!! You get excited!! But for me, I got bummed, yet very excited!! So....who enters those contests that you think no one wins?? I do. ALL THE TIME!!! I am a total sucker!! I have never won and never planned on winning. EAT YOUR WORDS HOLLY!!! I totally won!! I won an all expenses paid trip for a Polar Bear Expedition!! All paid for by Coca Cola!! WAHOO!!!!! www.nathab.com/polar-bear-tours/classic-polar-bear-expedition/

Bad part - we have to use it this year and the dates are this October or November. You do the math. Transfer and embryo on February 7th, last period the week before, due date for baby October 24th. Crap!!

• Could I leave a newborn home?? I think I could manage.


• 
  
  But what if they transfer two embryos and we have twins?


• What if they are early?


• What if we have another sick baby in the hospital? .

After asking ourselves these questions and more, we decided to be selfish and take the trip and hold off on the next baby. Disappointed, absolutely. Excited to go see the polar bears for free - HECK YES!!!